Final Fantasy - my ass..

It's ok.

Now I see everything. Finally.

I approach you in my hour of need and I understand if you're sceptical about everything including my hysterical outburst.

You said you trust me. I get that.
It's him you don't trust. I get that loud and clear too.

You said you've spent some time thinking about it and you need to lay down the rules, terms and conditions. Fine. I like this approach. Professional. The more formal the terms are, the better it is for everyone.

And then you make me wait.

And wait.

And wait.

In typical "you" fashion, you disappeared. Just like how you did 12 years ago. You refused to commit and you fucking disappear!!..

Oh yes, I envy you. I envy your perfect life, your perfect wife, your perfect family. But not so much to the extend that I will want to ruin all that you've built. No, I refused to waste my time on such trivial issues.

I for one, do not subscribe to the theory of revenge. I believe that what goes around, comes around. You gave me false hopes about helping but ended up leaving me waiting. Just like how I waited for your phone calls, how I waited for your weekends off, how I waited for you to spend time with me and how I seemed to be perpetually waiting for you 12 years ago. Sorry. If you think I'd beg and grovel my way up to you this time, then you're wrong.

I don't mind if you do not wish to help. I don't mind if you casts opinions on myself and 'him'. But at least let me know. Just say it straight to my face "No. I can't help you". Finito. El fin. Die Ende. Rampung. The End.

I'm sure I'm matured enough to accept that. You think I'd stomp my feet and tease your cock for you? Oh please, you can be so fucking stupid at times.

But boy I sure love your stories. I love the way you say you toss your money around, like water from a faucet. You gave senior citizens hundreds during your raya visits. You change hundred dollar notes like nothing to gave alms to the kids. The way you describe your generosity exceeds even the wildest imagination. You gave support to helpless widows whose husbands left them because they (the widows) fuck around. You gave away your moollahs to help their children. You gave money to people who never pay you back. Of course you have the right to be suspicous and queried my actions.

I understand all that. Of course I want the terms and conditions if they're legal. I'll sign my name in blood if I have to. But you refused to let me know your terms. As I said, you left me waiting.

I dwelled on it and I don't need an ass's brain to tell me that one of your terms would involve something underneath my panties.

If you think I'd give it to you, then fuck you!! Twelve years ago, you're a lousy boyfriend. Sad to say, 12 years on, you turned out to be a lousy 'friend' too.

Don't bother looking up for me. You're as good as dead.

Because, men being men, at the end of the day, it's only their bloody balls that matters to them.

Have a nice fucking day.