Birthday Fuss

Selfish
Men can be selfish bastards sometimes.

I wish he's working a full time job with CPF and proper colleagues with regular lunch hours and suitable office hours so that there wouldn't be SMSs on my handphone reminding me that he's horny and wanted a quickie with me. Hello. Some people have to work. Some people have to earn money.

Of course he has all the time in the world when he's driving his cab. He can get horny at odd times and although he didn't ask for it will subtly remind me that he needs a release. That would mean I have to take half day off or something (nevermind the fact that I'm super busy and I'm letting others do my dirty work) because I have to do what a wife is supposed to do, no matter what time of the day it was.

Yes, sometimes we would have a quickie. But most of the time, I'd end up at home cooking a late lunch or early dinner, clean up the house and basically doing household chores when there are tonnes of work to do in the office. I wasted 21 days of my annual leave by early June on stupid things like these. Why? Why am I a selfless bitch?

I hate it when he's driving that cab. I like it when he's working properly. He wouldn't be distracted like this. Although he wouldn't demand that I take leave from work, his hidden words must be understood. I must "volunteer" to take leave and attend to his needs (whatever that may be). Oh he will say things like "If cannot, then nevermind" but I know him. I've know him for 11 fucking years. I must be clever enough to read between the lines and normally, the messages in between are never at my advantage.

He is the type of person who will never listen to my advice until he fall flat on his face and broke his bloody nose. Then, he will say, hmm, perhaps, I shouldn't be doing this. Sometimes, he wouldn't learn a lesson at all and starts blaming others if things do not work out. He'll claim that society is against him, the government is against him, I am against him, the postman that delivers the registered mail is against him. Heck, even the frozen chicken wings in the freezers are against him.

I'm not saying he's selfish per se. I mean, his generosity (if he has money in his pockets) go beyond words. In fact he is not selfish with money. It's his selfishness towards others and me in particular that I can't take at times.

I realised after years of marriage that he took after his father. The old man is generous. Really. I love it when he told me to go to the shops, buy him stuff and keep the change. His dad and him. They're overly generous with money. But sometimes, I just don't understand why they are very particular with birthdays.

I have to remember his birthday or I'll have hell to pay. It happened before and because I don't have money (he took my whole month's salary to pay off his cab rental) and I didn't get him anything, he created such a huge fuss that I have to burn the $15 left in my wallet on chicken rice for him and the kids (nothing for me because I just watch them eat) at JP Banquet. I remembered that night. I had to apologise for not saying Happy Birthday to him. I was left with nothing for lunch and an empty wallet the next day but I'm happy because at least he's no longer angry with me.

His father is very old with a lot of health problems. But I admire his ability to tune out my MIL's nagging. Yesterday was laughable at best. The day before, he had confided in me on his intention of celebrating his birthday at Furama Hotel. Nevermind the fact that it's a buffet and he was on urine tube and couldn't even walk a few metres without toppling over. Nevermind also that he's just freshly out of the hospital after staying there for 9 days because he slipped on his own urine. Nevermind all these because it is his birthday and he wanted to celebrate it with his children. I knew the hopelessness of his plans but I just kept mum.

I don't know what my father-in-law has with birthdays. I mean, if it were me, I'd be terrified. Here I am with poor health, left with at most a few years left in this world, watching TV from dawn to dusk, not bothering to read the Quran or pray thanking Allah s.w.t for every blessed day that I'm allowed to breathe in this earth. I wouldn't be bothering about birthdays. It will be the furthest thing in my mind. Definitely.

So it came as no surprise when my MIL (who is on chemotherapy and just recovered from a major surgery as well) went all out to scold my FIL. She wasted no time in scolding him for making such a fuss about his birthday but never bothering to think of the hereafter. There's a reason Allah extend our life in this earth. There's a reason for being blessed with one more day to live. My poor FIL shed silent tears. He can be so stubborn sometimes but my MIL is right. I wish he would stop about these birthday nonsense. The psychologist in me deduced it as a cry for attention but the cynic says he deserved it because hey, I wasn't raised up in this kind of family environment which is semi-dysfunctional at best. My husband was not sympathetic either because he's a lifetime supporter of my MIL. But then again, that's his father and he's already inherited the bad things from him whether he realised it or not.

And so we ended up ordering pizzas and FIL paying for it. My MIL went on and on about him selfishly thinking of his birthday but not thinking of his deathday. I hope and prayed I wouldn't end up like him. My husband? Oh, I would definitely place my bet on him. I'd probably be long dead and rotten before he turned 76 years old and making a huge fuss to his kids about his birthday. I wouldn't be there to chide him because I never chided him since I'm his stupid wife and I'm nowhere like his mother. He'll be luckier because no one would nag at him because you see, the women in my family never lived passed 69. They spend their entire lives being slaves to selfish men and after menopause just wilted away and die. Just like how I'm going to end up one of these days.

But you get a few laughs here and there no doubt. But never, ever let the selfish men know what you're laughing about. They're too selfish and self-centered to bother about your feelings anyway.